Redamancy
by avalon01k
Summary: For Day 7 of @yoosungweek with the prompt 'Through The Years'. A collection of fragments of Yoosung's memories of MC. Originally written on my Tumblr blog yoosungs-blush.


_Redamancy: the act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full._

"Honey~ Where are you?" Yoosung called, closing the door to the apartment he shared. A bouquet of pink roses occupied his hands as he went through the entranceway, searching for his beloved wife.

MC was nowhere to be found, and he placed the bouquet on the dining table; heartbeat quickening with every second of her absence. It was a short lived mystery, however, her voice echoing from the bathroom - something seemed… off… about it.

As he hurried to find her, his heart was already sinking, preparing for bad news. Was she sick? She'd said she hadn't been feeling too great recently but surely that was just a cold?

 _Please be okay,_ he prayed quickly, bursting into the bathroom only to find her perched on top of the toilet seat lid, staring at something in her hands with wide eyes; tears trickling down your pale cheek.

"Honey? What is it? What's wrong?"

MC blinked and met his distraught face, as though she'd only just noticed his arrival.

"I'm… pregnant" She spoke slowly, voice thick with emotion. Immediately Yoosung's fearful expression became one of joy. Rushing forward, he peered at the pregnancy test in her hand, crying out happily when he saw the result.

"We're gonna have a baby!" He threw his arms around her, hugging tightly; whilst trying to be gentle around her abdomen, "I'm gonna be a father! And you're gonna be a mother! We're gonna… _we're gonna have a family, MC!"_

MC hugged him back, burying her smile in the crook of his neck, the tears in her eyes still flowing. The two of them had been trying for so long without results, to a point she'd been terrified that you were unable to have children. But now everything was perfect! He'd take her to the doctor just to double check, but for now, he wanted to remember everything about this moment.

"I hope she looks like you!" He couldn't keep the eagerness out of his voice and she giggled, tickling his neck.

"How do you know it's a girl?"

"Call it… _a father's intuition,"_ he sounded so smug but he couldn't help it. A baby! Thinking about it made him giddy; reminiscent of how skittish he had been as a college student before meeting the love of his life. _MC_.

He kissed the top of her head, marvelling at how sweet she always smelled; running his fingers through her hair tenderly, murmuring his adoration for her under his breath as she rubbed his back in the same loving manner.

"Thank you for loving me, MC," he whispered, "I'll never be able to say it enough but… I love you."

"Birthday cake for our little princess~!" MC sang, placing the largest cake she'd ever seen in front of the excited little girl. Today marked three years since she'd been blessed with her daughter - since Yoosung had held his baby daughter in his arms and cried.

He hugged MC from behind, watching over her shoulder as their daughter squealed happily in her periwinkle princess dress at the sight of her birthday cake, "Cake for me _and_ for Lisa~!" She sang, affectionately reaching to pet her feline friend.

Yoosung quickly switched his gaze to MC, worried that she might actually be considering serving Lisa some cake. But she sensed his worry and laughed, turning and ruffling his hair, "Don't worry, honey! I made a cat-friendly equivalent for Lisa - Jumin gave me the recipe, of course."

MC disappeared into the kitchen and came out a moment later with a saucer heaped with a stack of pancakes topped with silvervine. Setting it down in front of Lisa, she smiled triumphantly when she sniffed it tentatively, before taking a small bite.

Their daughter also giggled, her bright spirit infectious. In a few moments, Yoosung had cut her off a piece of cake - covered with chocolate butter icing -and set it in front of her, where she tucked in, pausing in between bites to check that Lisa was still enjoying her own feast.

When she'd gobbled down the last bite, their daughter switched her gaze to her parents, who had been excitedly whispering amongst themselves; freezing as though they'd been caught doing something bad when their daughter called them out.

"Mummy and Daddy have to eat some too!" She told them matter-of-factly, "Everyone has to have cake. It's the birthday rules!" Yoosung laughed but did as he was told, blushing slightly as he served MC a piece. Lisa meowed loudly, her cat pancakes long gone; she leapt onto the little girl's lap, rubbing her face against her human friend as they giggled.

The two of them were so adorable, Yoosung sighed blissfully, sharing a peaceful look with MC and entwining their fingers. He'd come a long way since his days as a college student… and now here he was, with a beautiful wife, an adorable daughter, and their Lisa.

His heart swelled.

"DADDY!" Yoosung bolted up, resistant of the drowsiness in his body at the sound of his daughter's cries. He rushed to her bedroom where he saw her tear-stained face illuminated by her night light. He put his arms around her protectively, stroking her head; soothing and reassuring her.

"…It was just a bad dream…" he whispered, "It can't hurt you anymore… You're safe now…" But her sobbing continued, the sound breaking his heart, causing his own eyes to well up.

 _No,_ he told himself firmly, _I have to be strong for her._

"I dreamt… about… Mummy," she whimpered, tiny hands gripping the back of his t-shirt. At the mention of MC, his heart ached. It was still too painful… to think of the worst day of his life… the pain that hurt more than losing Rika… the day she had left him, and her daughter alone.

"I… really… miss her…" she sniffled, hugging Yoosung tighter while he cried silently, unable to stop the hurt in his heart from overflowing, "I really miss her, Daddy."

Taking a shaky breath, he murmured the only thing he could manage without falling apart again, "I know, sweetie… Me too…"

"Will… will we ever get to see her again?"

Yoosung's entire body ached. He could still see MC's face in his mind as though it were still right in front of him; how bright her eyes were. She was always so positive, so lovely. Too good for someone like him. She'd loved him unconditionally; letting him move on from the past; looking forward to a future with her instead. The day of the party, the first Valentine's Day, first Christmas… the day their daughter was born… he remembered it all, but remembering what he had lost… he felt lost… small and broken.

He wiped away his tears with one hand, hugging his daughter more tightly, "One day. But… for now, we need to smile and be happy… _for her_."

She wriggled out of his embrace and stared at his bloodshot eyes, which he rubbed nervously as though it would wipe away all traces of his sadness.

"I promise to be happy for Mummy," she said solemnly, furiously wiping away at her own tears, "So you have to promise too."

She was so determined, shining with sincerity. _Just like you._

"I promise."

Everything hurt. His head, his legs, his arms, his chest. Every joint ached and screamed, but shifting around in his hospital bed only intensified the pain.

He had a feeling… today was the day he would fade from the world. Even now he could sense the wooziness, it washed over him, crushing the breath out of him. He gasped as it did so again, desperately searching for air to fill his lungs.

"Dad?!" A frightened voice kept him from slipping away, and something warm held his hand, "Dad? You've got to hang on!"

And for a second, he considered it. Hanging on, getting better, bouncing back from the accident. But he felt so _tired_. MC had been gone fifteen years. And not once had he ever felt as happy as when he'd been by her side. His life was dull.

His daughter squeezed his hand urgently, and he stared at her face - now beautiful and mature as she followed in his footsteps and majored in veterinary medicine.

"I'm… so proud of you," he murmured, the words scraping against his throat; threatening to choke him. Her lips quivered; shoulders shaking, "…You're thinking about Mum, aren't you?" He let out a hollow laugh, "Is it… that obvious?"

She wiped her eyes, "I barely remember her anymore… but, I know how much you loved her. And how much she loved you."

"MC… was my first love," his whispers were cracked and broken, and his eyes welled up, "And every day… hurts… I miss her voice… and her scent… there was never a day when she didn't believe in me… We were so happy when we found out we were having you…"

Beside him, his daughter wept and he did his best to squeeze her hand reassuringly, "Don't cry, sweetie. Please." He could feel his heart rate slowing, and he sensed his diminishing time, the wave of wooziness coming back with fervour.

"You have to promise to smile for me…" he murmured sleepily, "Smile for us both… 'kay?" The darkness made his brain fuzzy, and he began to fall away, able to decipher the buzz in his ears as words that put him at peace…

"I- I promise."

His body bloomed with warmth; the light cradled him. And when he finally opened his eyes, his knees threatened to give out. Someone more magnificent, more innocent or pure as any angel was standing in front of him.

MC were smiling at him, the bittersweet of the moment reflecting in her eyes, oh her beautiful eyes. The photos she'd left behind paled in comparison to the real thing. Before he knew it, he had gathered her in his arms, hugging her as tightly as he could; weeping. When he pulled away, he cupped her face in his hands, softly peppering her skin with kisses: the tip of her nose, her cheeks, her forehead, and finally, her lips.

She buried her fingers in his hair, resting her forehead against his, "I'm so sorry. You were all alone because of me."

He ignored the apology - it was unnecessary. They were together again. The pain he had felt… it had been washed away, leaving his soul clean.

"I love you." He told her, fingers brushing her cheeks gently, as though she might shatter, "So please don't leave me again."


End file.
